Would You Lay Down Your Life for Your Children?

Would you lay down your life for your children?

I don't know a single homeschool mom or dad who wouldn't answer "yes," if asked. But how do we answer that question when it crops up in day to day life?

Do we lay down our blogs? Our favorite forums? Our Facebook and Twitter applications?

Do we lay down our books? Our meetings and activities? Our "me" time?

Do we lay down anger, frustration, impatience and irritability?

Will we really lay down our lives for our children? Let's take an honest look at what needs to go...

Our Interests

Many of us have given up careers and other pursuits in order to homeschool our children. We are vibrant, intelligent individuals and we feel entitled to have hobbies and interests of our own.

But how many times will we tell our children to wait so we can read one more blog or answer one more forum post? How often will we tune out our children in order to tune in to talk radio or TV?

Now, I'm not suggesting we give up all of our interests, but I am suggesting that we take an honest look at the amount of time we spend pursuing those interests at our children's expense.

For me, excessive computer use is a major temptation, and I've found LeechBlock to be a useful tool in helping me monitor and limit my time on the computer.

Our Ideals

I'm fairly opinionated, and I entered the world of motherhood and homeschooling with specific goals and expectations of my children. When things didn't go as planned, it was humbling to discover that there was nothing wrong with my children - my goals and expectations were seriously flawed.

While it is great to have a vision for our families, we have to know when to set our ideals aside and embrace the children we have in front of us. What are their needs, wants, talents and dreams?

Instead of becoming frustrated because our children don't fit into our ready-made molds, we can spend time getting to know them and helping them grow into the unique individuals they were created to be.

Our Image

One of the most difficult things I've had to lay down is my desire to please and impress others. Several years ago, I realized that saying yes to those outside our home often meant saying no to those within our home, and I decided to start saying yes to those who mean the most to me.

One of my favorite reads last year was The 4-Hour Workweek, and I recently came across The Best Decline Letter of All-Time on author Tim Ferris' blog.

Yes, the letter is worded rather rudely, but if you focus on the tone of the letter, you miss the overall message. Edmund Wilson decided to say no to those who would use him so he would have time to say yes to the things that really mattered to him.

We would be wise to say no to the users in our lives - even if those users are extended family members, longtime friends, homeschool group members or *gasp* even church leaders.

1 John 3:18 says "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

In 2010, let's not just tell our children we love them, let's resolve to lay down our lives for our children.

Merry Christmas!

This year we received the best Christmas gift ever.


Elijah James was born on December 18th at 8:30 PM. He weighed 7 lbs, 1 oz and was 19 inches long.


We are home and doing well, and having a very Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Judgmental Secular Homeschoolers

I was only (mostly) kidding when I mentioned Christmas at the end of my last post. I do find it mildly irritating that some people are afraid to say the word Christmas, but I've found that the Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays debate plays out mostly online and in the media and not in real life.

I wish I could say the same for the division between Christian and secular homeschoolers.

My husband and I have always had non Christian friends. In fact, his best friend of 15 is years not a Christian. So when I was invited to an "inclusive" homeschool group meeting as a new homeschooler, I did not think twice about attending - especially when I found out they had a weekly ladies night out for dinner without the kids.

After attending several group meetings and events, I found that conversations often veered in the direction of ridiculing creationism, scripture, prayer and curricula that incorporate Bible verses and promote Christian beliefs. I heard a great deal of talk about Christian groups and their "scary" requirements, such as statements of faith. I heard comments that would not have been tolerated were they about Buddhists or Wiccans or any other religious group.

The ladies in the group were smart, kind and funny. But as a Christian, I was also in the group for support and encouragement, and I grew weary of hearing my faith ridiculed week after week. In my opinion, in a group that is truly inclusive, Christian beliefs would receive the same respect as any other belief.

The homeschool group that I'm now a part of is full of smart, kind and funny women who are also mostly Christian. In order to join, I was required to sign a statement saying I understood the group's beliefs and standards for behavior. Though we pray at meetings and openly discuss Christianity, I do not recall ever hearing other religions mocked or ridiculed.

Which group sounds more inclusive?

Please know that I am not basing my statements here on my experience with one group. I've seen Christian homeschoolers mocked and ridiculed just as frequently in the many discussion groups I've participated in online.

I know that some in the secular homeschool community have been hurt by Christians, and as a result, feel defensive. I think it's important to remember that Christians are imperfect people who make mistakes and hurt people. I have been hurt by Christians. As a Christian, I have hurt others.

I can also imagine that some secular homeschoolers find it difficult to be minorities among minorities, without access to a wide variety of support groups, legal organizations and curriculum providers. However, I feel the venom toward Christian organizations and companies is misplaced.

Yes, a Christian curriculum may contain Bible verses and *gasp* even teach creationism. Yes, a Christian support group may ask members to affirm their understanding of the group's practices and beliefs. Christian curriculum providers, home school groups and legal organizations do not exist to condemn, nor persecute secular homeschoolers - they exist to meet the needs of Christians. As secular homeschoolers grow in number, more resources will arise to meet their needs.

My advice to judgmental secular homeschoolers - forgive the Christians who have hurt you, and extend Christians the same respect you extend members of other faiths. Remember that Christian homeschoolers once had little access to support groups and quality curricula, but they formed companies and organizations to meet those needs, and you can do the same.

I honestly find it ridiculous that there is so much division between two groups who have so many common interests and goals.

Can't we all just get along?

Judgmental Christian Homeschoolers

Last weekend I went with my family to see The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It's a really fun story about an unchurched family - The Herdman's - who shows up at Sunday School for the free food, takes over the annual Christmas play (which everyone is sure will be ruined), and ends up learning the true meaning of Christmas and making the play the best one ever.

The play really helped me think through some of the feelings I have about the division between Christian and secular homeschoolers. There is a reason we Christians have somewhat of a poor reputation. Some of us are just plain judgmental!

Instead of focusing on ways we can share Christ's love with others, we focus on condemning lifestyles we've deemed ungodly. Instead of spending our time ministering to those in need, we spend our time debating subjects like modest clothing, sheltering, Halloween, Santa, Harry Potter, Twilight, and the list goes on and on.

Now I am not saying it's wrong to have opinions about those things, but are these debates the best use of our time? Could that hour you spent crafting a blog post about biblical discipline have been spent praying for or mentoring a struggling homeschool mom?

Although I love even the most conservative among my fellow Christian homeschoolers, I've had to pull myself back from the brink. In the name of sheltering my children from ungodliness, I was beginning to find a reason not to fellowship with nearly every family we encountered.

Yes, every family we encountered was sinning. My family is also full of sinners. In fact, it is a sin for me to spend time looking for the splinter in my brother's eye while neglecting the log in my own.

My neighbors went through a messy divorce over the past year, and when my neighbor called and asked me to babysit her kids for a few months, it was honestly the last thing I wanted to do. But I prayed about it and sought wise counsel, and although my flesh wanted nothing more than to send her away with a little cash and a promise that I would pray, I knew this woman badly needed a safe haven for her children that I was in a position to provide. Instead of simply praying for her, I could be an answer to her prayer.

So instead of continuing to shelter my children from the messiness of life, we brought the mess right into our shelter. We had some difficult, yet honest conversations about the realities of marriage and divorce, and the ways divorce hurts children. We had some difficult, yet honest conversations about the consequences of sin. And we had the difficult, yet humbling experience of walking through tough times with a family who needed us, realizing that one day we may also be in need.

During the process, my children lost some of their innocence, but they learned a tangible lesson about sharing the love of Christ.

Are you teaching your children to simply pray for others or showing them how to be an answer to prayer? Are you teaching your children to avoid the lost or minister to the lost? Are you teaching your children that others are unworthy to be in their presence or that they are worthy of being loved?

Consider Mark 2:15-17:

While Jesus was having dinner at Levi's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the "sinners" and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: "Why does he eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

As we enter the Christmas season, let us remember to love on, not avoid and condemn, The Herdman's in our lives.

Don't miss my post next week about judgmental secular homeschoolers.

Yes, my curriculum contains Bible verses and I like it that way, thankyouverymuch. And by the way, Merry Christmas! Yes, I said Christmas. That's the actual name of the holiday! (smile)

Homeschool Holidays - Fun and Easy Ways to Celebrate Christmas

Christmas really is my favorite time of year! Our new baby is due in a few weeks, so we won't go on as many outings as we usually do, but I'm still looking forward to having fun and learning with the kids.

In addition to decorating the house, baking cookies, viewing Christmas lights and going to see The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, we're going to work on this Symbols of Christmas Lapbook and read Christmas stories.

Some of our favorite Christmas books are Michael Hague's Family Christmas Treasury and The Family Read Aloud Christmas Treasury. I purchased the books this year to avoid library fines, but you should be able to find them at your local library.

We've been a bit slow pulling out the Christmas items this year, and my oldest is already asking me to start playing Christmas music. Here are some of our favorite sounds of the season.

You can find additional ideas for celebrating Christmas in our December 2008 newsletter, 5 Fun and Easy Christmas Activities.

Yesterday, we sent out our December 2009 newsletter which contains last minute gift ideas for those of you who are Still Shopping for Christmas Gifts...

If you're not a subscriber, you can follow this link to sign up for our free, monthly homeschool newsletter.

Merry Christmas!